Get water on it fast — that’s the one rule that matters more than any product. If you’re wondering how to clean egg off windows, the first thing to know is that speed makes the biggest difference. Fresh egg wipes off in seconds. Egg that’s had all afternoon in the sun turns into something closer to grout.

Skip the hot water on a fresh splat, though. Heat sets the protein, just as it does in a frying pan, and you’ll end up baking it onto the glass rather than lifting it off. Cool or lukewarm water and a soft cloth are all a fresh mess needs.

For anything that’s already dried on, the trick isn’t elbow grease, it’s the right chemical doing the work while you leave it alone.

Bio washing powder made into a paste is one solution you’ll see mentioned again and again on UK trade forums. The enzymes in it are designed to break down protein stains on clothing, and egg white especially is almost pure protein, so the same chemistry helps loosen it from glass.

A shop-bought degreaser can work well too, particularly on the fattier residue from the yolk. Several window cleaners report it shifting egg that’s been baked on for weeks, even without hot water.

Apply either one, walk away for five or ten minutes, then come back and it’ll practically wipe off on its own.

Ground floor windows are simple: scrape off any hardened shell with a plastic scraper (never metal), soak, wipe, rinse, dry.

Upstairs is where it gets trickier, since you can’t exactly stand there holding a soapy cloth to a second-floor pane.

We apply the solution straight onto the water-fed pole brush, work it in generously, and leave it to dwell while we crack on with the rest of the round. Then come back, give it a proper scrub, and rinse it through with clean water same as any other window.

One thing to avoid altogether: anything abrasive. Wire wool and scourers can scratch glass permanently, and a scratch outlasts any egg stain by a very long way.

When to Call a Professional

Know when to stop trying and hand it over. If it’s been there more than a week or two, if several windows caught it after a bad night, or if you’d need a ladder to reach it safely, that’s your cue.

Repeated hard scrubbing at stubborn, sun-baked egg is exactly how glass ends up scratched. That’s a far more expensive problem than the egg ever was, and much harder to put right.

We’ve cleared plenty of egg over the years, from fresh Halloween splats to the sun-baked kind that’s had weeks to set in, and we’ll sort it on a normal visit — no extra hassle, no judgement about how it got there.